I used to live without drama. I'd listen to my friends talk about how hard their life is, but I would be fine. But then I got to college. I fell in love with a man I could never be with. I could never be with someone with so starkly different beliefs. To be with him I'd have to leave all I'd ever known, and forsake the authority of my beliefs. We let each other go. It ripped me apart. But it was the right thing to do. Then I dated a mutual friend, and when he wanted to commit to me… I left him. Then I ended up realizing I was bi. Ended up hooking up with a girl, (or two or three) and then with one of my guy best friends. Even though I have. For months. Then I finally broke his heart too, and moved on to another girl for a few months. Then another guy. Neither of those two were too broken up when I left them… But the next guy I hurt like hell, leaving him when he'd fallen for me. Then the next one hurt me… by aggression me. And I care, because hey, I'd hurt plenty of people. I guess I deserved this. Not that I'd say that to anyone I know. yell at me no one deserves that. Then I spent a year fighting an assault case which I lost, while dating and breaking the heart of another guy… though he claims to have a heart of stone. You don't go from saying you love a girl to saying not hurt but also being especially horrible to her and insulting every choice she makes… unless especially hurt. I don't mean to hurt them. I just keep doing it. Then I hooked up with a fwb sort of situation that auspiciously ended with us still being friends. And now I'm in a accord going on 7 months… and I almost broke his heart last night. I just can't do it again. I I can't love him back, at least not right now. But I can't break him apart like I've broken everyone else. I do care. Hopefully I won't hurt him even more by this. So. How much of an idiot am I being? Kinda feel like I should put something in
We fucked. I went out with him tonight, convinced nothing would happen, and nothing did … until we got in his car to go home. He said he would drop me off. I climbed in after him, we sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and then we started kissing in the middle of an empty parking lot. Next thing I know, I'm on his lap, we're tugging at each clothes, and I rub myself against him. He groans, tells me how bad he wants me and how long he's wanted me. I take his bottom lip between my teeth, together reaching under my skirt to shift my (wet) panties to the side. In a matter of seconds I'm riding him in his car, whining and moaning like I've wanted his dick from the moment I first saw him, and then he grabs my hips and starts thrusting upwards inside me. I swear I black out for a second. I come so hard, the only words I can muster are, … stop …", and he He fucks me hard and then slows down, and we start kissing and grinding. Within a minute or two he tells me he's going to come, and I tell him I can't wait to taste it.
I gave up all to be with him. I left my new life in Florida. Left all my friends. I left. I was living on the streets for a week to be with him until i found Now i have a job, a place, sort of have friends. And its not good enough. His parents still hate me and im still not good enough. The past month has been rough. Ive attempted suicide twice and hes But we've been there for each other. I know he wants more. And ill never be what he wants. Ill never be what anyone wants. I love him. Hes my other half, my soul mater and yeah shit fucking sucks right now but im not ready to quit fighting for us yet. I know love isnt easy. I look in his eyes and i see my future husband. I see the love of my life. I see the whole world. Im not sure what he sees in mine. Probably a base peice of shit like everyone else. Its always me. Im always the problem. I always fuck all up. And this, the one blessing of a human being ive had in my life in years, hes gonna walk away. I have no idea what to do. I know how this ends. Ill go on a run and keep getting high until im palpably stopped or im dead. I cant stop crying. Im 24 years old. And im still a fuck up.
[17M] i enjoy it when i go on 4chan and watch threads or any gore websites im very curious about how people die or the way they get killed and to be honest when i watch someone getting killed i dont feel anything or get attached to it i just watch and when i exit i wont think about it or get Anyone has the same and is this smth i should worry about?
I just ordered an commitment ring for my awesome companion and I had to tell
We were separated at birth and I never had the chance to see you, only pictures of how happy you were. You died in a car wreck at the age of 9 a few years ago and it sucks that I will never be able to see you. I'm so sorry that you had to leave this world early and I don't really believe in a god or a heaven but I hope that one day I will see you when my time is out. I love you Elycia.
Sometimes i get affected with life and then i get to thinking about How is this possible. Why am i me? Why was i born when i was? Why am i conscious right now in this life and not some other time period? What happens when i die. Why am i me now? Is everyone else just something i make up as i go? HOW THE FUCK ARE WE CONSCIOUS OF OUR OWN BEING?
I never meant to lie. I realize what you were asking until it was too late and had I clarified a few minutes later when I realized I know wtf you were talking about, you known I in full control of my faculties or thought I was a big phoney So instead, I wooed you for just a little while. A few minutes in the scheme of things, a few months if we were using a calendar, but too short it would seem, because my thoughts keep circling back to you know , he replied, as one does when one is entirely too drunk to think clearly and has even the slightest acceptance of what is being discussed but wants to appear in the know of whatever topic the beguile lady is I keep telling myself that I'm hung up on you because we spend enough time together and had we the chance, it ended the way these things always seem to, with gusto. So in my near stupor, I heard the word mogwai and thought you were talking about gremlins. Buuuuuut, you I'm grateful you , you opened my eyes. The musical ones. I thought I had range but you really helped me acknowledge a wider sound. I'm sad I'll never be your musical soul mate like the one before me, but how our little story unfolded, so here I am, musical soul mate less. I hope proud of you had to go. You stay with this one (you probably can't see, but I'm pointing at myself). I used to being the dumpee and that smarted slightly, but then again, I'm grateful you , you opened my eyes. The loving ones. Before our time together, I know what want or miss or loss or contact really was. I knew the words and I even thought I knew what they meant but that was before I came across your appropriate brand of love.Â I never got to thank you for all you taught me.Â Thanks and stuff. There, I it. Please refer back to the second sentence of this paragraph for indisputable proof of my Be well and stay the same person I met so many lifetimes ago.